


all that sparkles

by thunderylee



Category: Japanese Actor RPF, KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-01
Updated: 2009-02-01
Packaged: 2019-02-01 21:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12713292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Nakamaru puts up with more shit than he really thinks he deserves, especially working as a janitor for the Big Name Fragrance Company.





	all that sparkles

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

Another urinal cake lands perfectly in the center of the drain.

“Nothing but net!” Masuda declares happily, raising his arms over his head in some type of victory sway.

Maru rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. As he finally manages to unplug the toilet in the last stall, he yanks the plunger out and falls back on his ass with the force of it all.

At least it doesn’t overflow this time. Maru considers not for the first time installing a camera to see who keeps clogging up this particular toilet. He could start a collection of odd items he’s found stuffed down there, now being no exception as he peers over the seat and looks down at what probably used to be a very expensive wallet.

“There’s a trash can!” Maru yells at the object, fishing it out with his gloved hand and holding it as far away from himself as possible as he crosses the tile floor and drops it into said container. “People are _gross_ ,” he comments.

In response, Massu whistles as he Windexes the mirrors. “Better or worse than your roommate?”

Maru makes a face. He actually thinks about it, comparing the massive amount of filth and garbage in this entire building against what he sees everyday when he goes home. “About even,” he finally concludes.

Massu shakes his head sympathetically. “Why don’t you just leave?”

“It’s not that _easy_ ,” Maru replies, pulling off the gloves and setting up the mop water. “There’s still six months left on our lease.”

“Oh.” Massu falls silent, then turns to Maru with a big grin. “But you’re going to school, right, so soon you can get your own place!”

Maru snorts as he starts mopping. “Yeah, in like eight years after I graduate and get a real job.”

“Don’t be so pessimistic!” Massu tells him, throwing the rag in his general direction; Maru ducks and it ends up in the used rag bucket. “It could be a lot worse. My sister says that her friend’s little brother is in one of those Johnny’s boybands.” He shudders at the thought. “Can you imagine? Sparkles and feathers and smiling all the time, dancing and singing-”

“Sounds like it would be perfect for you,” Maru says with a laugh, remembering the last time he and Massu had met up outside of work. Next time he’d have to remember to bring a pair of sunglasses. “I bet your sister’s friend’s little brother makes a lot of money, though.”

“Money isn’t everything,” Massu says, surveying the now spotless restroom. “Come on, let’s get the ladies’ done before lunch.”

Most people work for the weekend; Masuda Takahisa works for his next meal. He practically drags Maru and subsequently their cart across the hallway and stands to the side so that Maru can check and make sure it’s empty.

“Hello! Maintenance!” Maru calls out, knocking on the door as he cracks it open just enough to listen for any responses.

“You’re really just janitors, aren’t you?” a female voice says from behind him, and they both swivel around to face Kuroki Meisa, administration supervisor, complete with her big hair and three-inch heels. “Why lie and pretend that you’re something you’re not?”

“Sometimes we fix things,” Massu tells her cheerfully.

Maru ignores her and tries again. “Maintenance! We’re coming in!” Then he hangs the CLOSED sign in the doorway and ducks under it. “You’ll have to use the other restroom, Kuroki-san. This one is being _maintained_.”

Huffing, Meisa flips her hair and strides down the red-carpeted hallway towards the reception area. Massu snickers under his breath as they follow the elaborate maze into the women’s restroom, where they both stop in shock at the sight of someone leaning over one of the sinks.

“I’m sorry!” Maru exclaims, bowing his head and covering his eyes. “I checked and you didn’t answer…”

“Would it be okay to clean around me?” a small voice responds, clearly unnerved at the sight of two men in a women’s restroom. “You staying here means that they won’t find me for a little while longer.”

Slowly Maru raises his head, seeing the normal-looking young girl in a dress with her hair falling in her face, along with the tears he hadn’t noticed before. “Are you okay?”

“Maki-chan!” Massu exclaims, like he just realized who she is. “I mean, Horikita-san.” He gulps.

Maru blinks. “Horikita? The president’s daughter…”

“I know, I’m so cliché.” Horikita Maki sniffs and gives a short laugh, wiping her eyes with both hands and tucking her hair behind her ears. “I wanted to earn my own money and Daddy suggested that I work at the reception desk…”

“That’s hard work,” Massu offers, taking out a dry rag and spray bottle to attack the other sinks. “You have to talk to mean people and know where to transfer calls-”

“It’s not that,” Maki says, splashing some water on her face and straightening up.

“Kuroki is kind of a bit- hard person to get along with,” Maru jumps in, getting to work on the toilets. “If she’s being mean to you, I’m sure you could just tell your dad and-”

“It’s not that either.” Maki exhales in frustration and stares into the mirror. “It turns out that the only reason Daddy agreed to this is not to help me become independent at all, but to help me find a husband and get married!”

Maru doesn’t know what to say, and apparently Massu doesn’t either; they both continue to clean, working a little faster than usual.

Maki laughs, bracing herself on either side of the sink. “Why am I telling you two about this? You don’t have this problem. Do you have sisters?”

“Yes,” they both answer.

She turns around and leans back, addressing them directly. “How would you feel if your father decided _for_ your sister who she was going to marry? And he’s nothing but an egotistical jackass with a pretty face?”

“Sounds like Nakamaru’s roommate,” Massu mutters, and Maru laughs.

Maki shakes her head, jumping a little when Massu gestures for her to move so that he can clean the sink she had been leaning against. “‘Top seller in the company’,” she repeats with about as much distaste as if she were eating something really bad. “‘That Yamashita, he’ll take care of you-‘”

Maru chokes on his spit and sticks his head out of the stall to keep from inhaling bleach fumes. “Yamashita, did you say?”

“Yeah,” Maki says slowly, giving him an odd look. “Do you know him?”

Maru swallows, not knowing where to start. “He’s best friends with my roommate.”

“Are you sure it’s the same one?” Maki asks. “It’s a pretty common name.”

“His picture is all over the building,” Massu supplies. “I dust them about ten times a week.”

Maru jumps to his feet and puts both hands in front of him, sticking his thumbs up with his best cheesiest grin. Massu runs to stand next to him and make a frame out of his hands.

Maki’s in danger of falling over with how hard she’s laughing. “That… that looks exactly like him,” she sputters out as she catches her breath. “You’re good with impressions!”

Maru feels his face heating up, but he just turns back to the toilets and concentrates on finishing up. There are hardly any women in this company – which is a bit peculiar, considering they’re a fragrance manufacturer – so the women’s bathrooms usually aren’t too dirty. _They_ know how to properly dispose of trash, anyway.

“He’s not that bad,” Maru finally says as he fills the toilet paper dispensers. “He’s always getting on Akanishi for being a lazy bum, so he has to have some sort of life smarts.”

“Maybe _they_ should get married, then,” Maki comments dryly. “Marriage is the furthest thing from my mind right now. I’m going to university! I’m going to be a teacher! I want nothing to do with this company or anybody in it. Just because my father didn’t get the son he always wanted doesn’t mean that I have to _marry_ him.”

Massu gently touches her arm and cringes when she flinches. “Sorry, Horikita-san, but we’re about done here. You might want to get a head start so that nobody gets suspicious.”

“Oh, right.” She washes her face one more time before standing tall and taking a deep breath. “I will fight this until the end,” she says under her breath, then turns and walks away.

Maru stands still for so long that Massu has to poke him with the mop. “You like her.”

“I do not,” Maru replies automatically.

“Okay,” Massu says nonchalantly, pushing the cart back out into the hallway. “Then I like her.”

Maru narrows his eyes and folds his arms angrily. “Really?”

Massu laughs. “You’re a bad liar, Yuichi.”

“She’s the president’s daughter,” Maru says, dragging his feet as they restock their cart with dusting materials for the conference rooms. “There’s no way she would ever be interested in someone like me.”

Massu eyes the framed pictures of Yamashita Tomohisa lining the hallway, one for each year he’s been employed here, and turns one crooked on purpose. “Money isn’t everything,” he repeats.

Maru looks into Yamashita’s pretty face and wishes he could believe that.

+

“How many?”

“How many what,” Yamapi says airily, taking his seat at the table and busying himself with his lunch.

“Don’t pull that bullshit with me,” Nishikido Ryo demands, scooting his chair forward for some sense of privacy in the busy cafeteria. “How many did you score?”

Yamapi doesn’t meet his eyes. “Five.”

“ _Five_?” Ryo exclaims, calling the attention of nearly everybody in the room, mostly the nosy advertising department at the next table. “In one weekend?”

Chuckling, Yamapi shakes his chopsticks at him. “That was just Friday night. There was another six on Saturday.”

Aragaki Yui from purchasing pauses behind them and makes a disgusted face. “You’re a _pig_ , Yamashita.”

“He’s a pig with a six-figure paycheck,” Ryo directs over his shoulder. “Which, by the way, helps contribute to _your_ paycheck, Gakki-chan.”

“Don’t call me that like you know me,” Yui spits at him, grabbing onto her colleague’s arm to drag her away from the stuck-up sales guys.

Ryo touches his head to the table. “Please, master, teach me your selling ways.”

Yamapi pulls him up by his hair. “You’ll never be able to do what I do.”

Sitting a little straighter, Ryo tries to look haughty. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are,” Yamapi tells him. “You won’t be able to do it because you still have your pride.”

“Pride,” Ryo scoffs. “Is that what this is? Is _pride_ the reason why I’m whoring myself out working overtime in the factory in addition to doing white-collar sales?”

“No, that’s because you _married_ a whore,” Yamapi points out. “Somehow I think you saved more money while you were living with her.”

Ryo leans back in his chair and sighs. “I don’t know if putting up with her shit is worth paying only one house payment.” His head tilts to the side and he narrows his eyes. “Oi! What are _you_ looking at?”

Yamapi shifts his eyes to the side to see the nosy advertising guys averting their gazes. “Leave them alone,” Yamapi says calmly. “Those two wouldn’t know pussy if it fell in their faces.”

At the next table, Koyama starts to make a comment about his cat, but Kato grabs his arm and shakes his head just in time.

“Hey, there’s that janitor douche,” Ryo says, an evil grin creeping onto his face as Massu and Maru push their cart into the cafeteria and start to wipe tables. “Got your heart set on that fruit cocktail?”

Yamapi pushes it to him. “It’s all yours.”

With his expression unchanging, Ryo catches eyes with the taller one as he rips off the plastic cover and tosses the cup right over his shoulder. He brings his hand to his mouth in fake shock. “Oops!”

Maru approaches with an unimpressed look, but he sweeps up the fruit and mops up the juice before wedging a WET FLOOR sign right behind Ryo’s chair. “Don’t move until this dries,” he says sternly. “If you break your neck, you can’t sue because there’s a _sign_.”

As he turns back to Massu, he catches Koyama _not_ looking at him from the next table. He knows better than to say hi, especially in the presence of others, so he just holds his head high and walks back across the room.

“Hi Koyama-kun!” Massu chirps from across the room, waving. “Hi Kato-kun!”

Koyama and Kato both wiggle uncomfortably and force smiles as they wave back.

Ryo and Yamapi snicker very unsubtly.

“Hi Masuda! Hi Nakamaru!”

Massu and Maru turn towards the young man running up to them, and Massu’s face automatically breaks into a grin. “Tegoshi!”

“Tegoshi!” Yamapi exclaims, looking a little embarrassed. “Hey, um, why don’t you come sit over here with us?”

“New kid?” Ryo asks, nodding approvingly.

“He’s very friendly,” Yamapi tells him.

“I can see how that would be,” Ryo practically purrs.

Yamapi kicks him under the table. “ _My_ junior. Not yours. When you make eleven sales in one weekend, then maybe you’ll get your own.”

“Yamapi-senpai!” Tegoshi says happily, dragging Massu over to Yamapi. “Massu and I are childhood friends. I didn’t know he worked here too!”

“He’s a janitor,” Ryo scoffs. “It’s not real work.”

Tegoshi’s happy face falls as he turns to face Ryo. “All work is real work, Nishikido-senpai. If it wasn’t for the custodial staff, you wouldn’t have anything to wipe your ass with.”

Maru wants to crawl into a hole and die, but Massu is almost beaming. Tegoshi in his spiffy business suit has one arm around Massu in his plain brown maintenance uniform, and Maru imagines that this is what the first interracial marriage was like. Mostly in reference to how everyone is so uncomfortable.

“He’s feisty,” Ryo says, leering at Tegoshi in a way that makes him smile until Ryo goes on. “Too bad he has poor taste in people. But that’s okay! Ugly people want to buy perfume too.”

Tegoshi folds his arms, leaving Massu standing awkwardly in the crowd of suits. “I bet that I get more sales than you when I’m out of training.”

Yamapi watches this entire exchange with an air of amusement.

“You’re on, kid.” Ryo stands and extends his hand, shaking Tegoshi’s as he adds, “Loser has to be the winner’s slave for a week.”

Kato snorts into his tea.

“Deal,” says Tegoshi, his eyes gleaming like he’s already planning what he’ll do with his prize.

“I’ll never understand men,” comes a voice from next to Maru, and Maru whips his head around to see Maki once again. “This place is like a testosterone factory. I don’t know how the women who wear these fragrances don’t sprout chest hair and testicles.”

“Yamashita would probably still sell to them,” Maru replies dryly. “He doesn’t seem to discriminate based on something as miniscule as _gender_.”

“Besides, we sell men’s fragrances too!” Maki says in her chipper phone voice, then rolls her eyes. “Just what I always wanted, a husband who offers his ass to get a sale.”

“Money isn’t everything,” Maru says before thinking about it, Massu’s words just popping out of his mouth without his permission.

“You said it,” Maki agrees, tilting her head as she regards Yamapi like one would regard a sick puppy. “I just wish other people could see that too.”

+

Maru walks through his front door and practically trips over several pairs of shoes, clueing him in to the fact that his roommate was having yet another party. He probably could have figured that out from the bass that thumped halfway down the street, but that happens even when Akanishi is the only one home. As long as he knocks it off by ten, the neighbors shouldn’t complain.

“I’m home,” he mutters, placing his shoes behind the others to keep them out of the way as he makes his way through the crowd of people to his bedroom.

With a deep breath, he swings open the door and turns on the lights, immediately squeezing his eyes shut to the sight before him.

“What the hell!” Jin’s voice greets him. “Don’t you knock?”

“Not when it’s my room!” Maru yells back. “Can’t you fuck in your own bed?”

“Your sheets smell nicer,” Jin replies, chuckling as he rustles around. “Okay, it’s safe to look now.”

Maru peeks through a narrow slit in his eyelids to declare it safe before opening them all the way. He supposes that Jin wrapping the sheet around him and his lady of the hour covering herself with one of Maru’s pillows is good enough.

“You’re such a prude,” Jin whispers in his ear as he walks by. “You could have just joined us, you know.”

Maru makes a face as he slams the door behind them, then strips his bed of the few sheets that are left and throws them straight into the trash. After tucking in clean sheets that aren’t possibly threaded with STDs, Maru settles back with his laptop and attempts to go to his school’s website, except that he can’t connect.

On his third try, he remembers whose turn it was to pay the Internet bill this month and storms out into the hallway, barging straight into Jin’s bedroom with his eyes firmly shut. “Akanishi, did you pay the Internet bill?”

“Aw, how cute, he’s not looking,” one of the girls coos.

Maru balls his hands into fists when he doesn’t get any other answer. “You know I need the connection for my school.”

“Can’t you go to the library or something?” Jin replies, his voice a little strained. “I’ll pay it tomorrow, _Mom_.”

The girls – there are _several_ – all laugh, and Maru feels himself turning red as he backs out of Jin’s room and inhales deeply now that the air doesn’t smell like sweat and sex.

On his way out, he catches Yamapi on the couch with a group of women fawning over him, listening to his sales pitch under the pretense of getting into his pants. Maru starts to roll his eyes, but as he passes by he notices something the intoxicated girls don’t – that Yamapi looks bored out of his mind.

That figures, Maru thinks bitterly as he returns to the street and walks back the way he came. Yamapi’s had so many girls that they all kind of blur together into one big dollar sign.

He doesn’t care if he has to clean toilets for the rest of his _life_ ; Nakamaru Yuichi will never become that kind of person.

+

“Isn’t it illegal to steal the company’s wireless for personal use?”

Maru lifts his eyes to the night janitor’s blatant disregard for the NO SMOKING signs and says nothing.

“Oh, right.” Kusano ashes his Cuban and takes another hit, holding it in until he can’t wait any longer, then blowing it right in Maru’s face. “You need to relax, dude. You want some of this?”

“Don’t you have work to do?” Maru asks nonchalantly; he’s grown accustomed to all types of drugs being shoved in his face living with Jin, marijuana being the most pleasant smelling of the lot.

“Night shift,” Kusano explains. “I’m only here in case of an emergency spill or some shit. Every now and then I’m supposed to walk the place and make sure there isn’t ‘anything out of the ordinary’. Low-rate security, if you ask me, but it beats having to clean up after these animals during the day.”

Maru grunts his agreement as he continues typing his assignment. “I have to have this done by midnight. Do you think you could leave me alone for awhile?”

“Yeah, sure.” Kusano puts out his blunt and rolls up in the corner of the supply area (also known as the Janitor Room). “Do me a favor and let me know if anyone calls me over the intercom.”

“Won’t you hear it?” Maru asks irritably.

Kusano doesn’t answer him; he’s already out.

Maru wonders why he has to deal with incompetent people all of the time, then chalks it up to when he was ten years old and his sister put a voodoo spell on him. He had thought it was for fun at the time, but now he realizes that “an eternity of unhappiness” is just what he was given in this life.

His cell phone goes off, and he almost doesn’t answer it when he sees the callback number. But just in case something happened to his dog, he pushes the ACCEPT button. “What.”

“Um, hi, it’s Jin.” He sounds blitzed out of his _mind_.

“I know, I have Caller ID.” Maru balances the phone on his shoulder to type and listen at the same time. “What do you want.”

“Um, well, the cops showed up -”

“ _Fuck_ , Akanishi, what did you do now?”

“She told me she was eighteen!” Jin wails.

Maru sits straight up and stares at the bare cement wall. “Did you get arrested?”

“Yeah, but Yamapi got me out. What a good man.” He can almost _hear_ Jin grin in that way he always does when he talks about his best friend.

“So _what do you want_ ,” Maru hisses through his teeth. “I am trying to finish my homework since _someone_ got the Internet shut off.”

“I need you to tell the cops that she looked eighteen,” Jin says quickly. “You were the only sober person there. If you write them a statement, the charges will probably be dropped.”

Maru makes a face even though Jin can’t see it. “I didn’t even see her-”

“Sure you did,” Jin cuts him off. “She was the naked one in your bed.”

“Oh, my god,” Maru groans, more to himself than to his roommate. “How old is she really?”

“Sixteen.”

“Akanishi!” Maru screams, rubbing his eyes in attempt to get rid of some of the filth.

“Hey,” Jin says. “If I’m in jail, I can’t pay rent.”

Maru considers this. “Fine, I’ll write a statement tomorrow and drop it by the station on my lunch. Okay?”

“Or you could do it _now_ and enjoy your lunch tomorrow, courtesy of Yamapi!” Jin suggests brightly.

The clock on Maru’s laptop is nearing midnight, and Maru looks helplessly at his half-finished essay that he probably wouldn’t have done in time even if he types twice as fast. He gets as far as a sigh before Jin’s thanking him profusely, promising to do the dishes for the rest of the week before hanging up on him.

“Dude,” Kusano says from the corner. “You’re such a pushover. My old lady cheats on me twice a _week_ and I’m _still_ not as big of a wuss as you. Congratulations.”

“I’m going,” Maru replies, packing up his laptop and heading back out into the night.

It takes two hours for the police to be done with him, an hour to clean the house when he finally gets back, and twenty minutes to drag Jin’s deadweight body into some semblance of a sleeping place.

As another pretty face with nice hair curls up in his dog’s bed and ends up with both Pin and Mister laying on him, Maru thinks that it’s probably the first time all year that all is right with the world.

+

Maki leans against the polished wood of the reception desk, watching the beginning of a storm brew outside of the elegant front doors. “This is boring,” she mumbles.

“Do you want something to do?” Meisa asks as she walks by. “I’m not supposed to give you extra work, but if you want something to pass the time, I could teach you how to do payroll.”

“Isn’t that a Human Resources job?” Maki replies skeptically.

“Normally it is,” says Meisa. “But your dad likes to cut corners whenever he can and sees no need for an actual HR department. So Admin takes care of payroll. And accounting. And any kind of paperwork you can think of.”

“I’m good with numbers,” Maki tells her. “I wouldn’t mind doing whatever you need help with.”

Meisa’s face lights up. “In that case -” she drops a stack of files on the desk “- I’ll be back with more.”

Right when Meisa returns, the front door bursts open and a figure walks in, perfectly dry despite being out in the rain. She strides straight to Maki’s desk and lays a single file in front of her, then stands back and waits patiently, tapping her insanely long and colorful nails on the desk.

“Koda-san,” Meisa says firmly. “We’re just getting started on payroll. Your check isn’t going to magically print right now.”

“Just making sure you get it,” the woman replies breathily, staring at the marble finish of the desk like Meisa and Maki weren’t worth any of her attention. “Have me paged when it’s ready.”

She walks away before either can respond, and Meisa doesn’t even wait until the other woman is out of earshot before hissing at Maki. “Koda Kumiko, international sales. She flies around the world selling our fragrances to diplomats, royalty – you name it, she does them. She is the main reason this company is so successful.”

Maki narrows her eyes at the curvy form getting on the elevator. “Does everybody offer their bodies to get sales around here?”

“It’s a traditionally-accepted format, yes,” Meisa replies. “ _And_ it’s the easiest.”

Now Maki’s rolling her eyes. “How lazy do you have to be…”

Meisa chuckles. “You’re not like your dad at all.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Maki says, offering a smile. “Shall we get started on payroll?”

Meisa looks like Christmas has come early. “Yes, yes we can!”

Three hours later, all of the ‘important people’ have been paid and Koda Kumi is back on a plane to somewhere in Europe. “Let’s go to lunch!” Meisa declares. “My treat, since you’ve helped me out so much today.”

“Shouldn’t we pay _everyone_ first?” Maki asks slowly. “The non-commissioned employees have to be easier to add up than the commissioned ones, right?”

Meisa frowns. “It’s just my department, the factory workers, and the janitors. They can wait an hour while we eat.”

Maki tilts her head. “Did you already pay yourself?”

A silence greets her, and Maki smirks at the way Meisa’s eyes dart around the ceiling. “I paid you too, you know.”

Maki smiles warmly. “Let’s pay everyone, then we can take a little longer at lunch since we won’t have any pressing work waiting for us, yeah?”

“… Yeah,” Meisa finally agrees. “That would be okay.”

It only takes twenty minutes to finish up, even when Maki lingers on a particular janitor’s profile a bit longer than the others. “It has to be against the law to pay people this little,” she comments.

“Uneducated people don’t have much of a choice these days,” Meisa tells her, then laughs. “I mean, you know, if your father doesn’t own his own company, that is.”

Maki completes the process for Nakamaru Yuichi and moves onto the next, but not before she burns his address to memory.

+

Yamapi’s not much of a talker, at least when there’s not a sale to be made. Maru would rather wear bug spray than the shit BNF sells, so most of their lunch is spent in silence until Yamapi cringes visibly when the door to the little cafe dings open and two familiar voices ask for a table.

“You don’t have to sit with me, Yamashita-san,” Maru says quietly. “You already bought my lunch.”

“This isn’t work, Nakamaru-kun,” Yamapi replies evenly. “You saved Jin last night. It would be rude to make you eat by yourself.”

Maru thinks that it would be more comfortable if he _was_ alone, especially when he sees who has just walked in.

“Yamashita-san!” Meisa squeals, instantly approaching the table to bow.

Maki just stands and nods her head, regarding Meisa a little oddly.

“Hello,” Yamapi says politely, clearly not remembering Meisa’s name.

It’s enough for Meisa to grin and drag Maki across the room, whispering like a schoolgirl.

Maru frowns when Yamapi rolls his eyes. “Do you even know who they are?”

“I know who the smaller one is,” Yamapi answers, paying no mind to the implication of Maru’s words. “She’s the president’s daughter whom I’m supposed to marry.”

“… You know about that,” Maru says slowly.

“I know everything that happens in this company,” Yamapi responds with a sigh. “I don’t know how to tell Shachou that she’s not my type.”

“Not your type?” Maru repeats, instantly defensive on Maki’s behalf. “What’s wrong with her? She’s perfect.”

Yamapi’s face relaxes and emits what is probably the first laugh Maru’s ever witnessed from the top seller. “All week long I seduce women for sales – I certainly don’t want to go home to one.”

While Maru ponders that statement, Yamapi discreetly watches the two at the other table. “Besides, I don’t think she wants to marry me either.”

“I wonder why it needs to be a relative,” Maru ponders out loud. “Couldn’t you still take over the company without marrying her?”

“I don’t want that either,” Yamapi says quietly. “I think Sakurai-san would be much better at that executive stuff than me.”

Maru recalls the five men who oversee the operations and business management, but only by color. “Which one is he?”

“The red one,” Yamapi replies. “He’s very intelligent. He went to Keio.”

“Excuse me for asking,” Maru begins timidly, “but if you don’t want to be president, where _do_ you want to go in this company?”

Yamapi blinks and stares at Maru like he’d never thought of such a concept before. “I’m already there, aren’t I?”

He doesn’t say it, but Maru feels an inkling of pity for the guy. He can’t imagine living life without any goals.

+

“Okay, kid,” Yamapi says firmly, spraying Tegoshi once more for good measure before sending him out into the crowd. “Make me proud.”

He sits back and watches as the completely confident Tegoshi struts across the bar and signals for a drink, squeezing between a young woman and an older man. The man turns away, but the woman leans closer and very discreetly presses her nose into his neck.

Yamapi smiles proudly. He can almost imagine the conversation.

_“Excuse me, what is that scent you’re wearing?”_

_“Oh, this? It’s Love Addiction by BNF. Do you like it?”_

_“I love it. How do I get some for my boyfriend/brother/father/friend?”_

_“I happen to work for them. Here’s my card. Will it be cash or charge?”_

That’s the G-rated scenario, anyway. Yamapi doesn’t think Tegoshi’s ready for the higher rated one, at least not with this girl. However, Yamapi does notice that Tegoshi whips out his travel-size bottle of the woman’s version and lets her test it, moving a little closer when he smells it on her like he can’t help it.

A double sale. Yamapi’s impressed. Although not nearly as impressed as when Tegoshi’s barely done handing over the product to his new customer before he’s spun around by some very important-looking men.

Yamapi’s about to intervene, but Tegoshi’s smile never leaves his face and he talks to the men like they’re old friends, offering them samples and leaving them his card. They walk away without any incident and Tegoshi makes a beeline for Yamapi, looking at him like a five-year-old child might look at his father. “Did I do well?”

“You did very well,” Yamapi says, resisting the urge to pat him on the head. “Do you think those men will buy?”

“They’re going to,” Tegoshi tells him. “I just didn’t have enough with me. They’re going to order off the website and use my code. That counts, right?”

“ _Enough_?” Yamapi repeats. “How much did they want?”

“Well, they all have wives and daughters,” Tegoshi explains. “A couple of them liked more than one scent, and they all liked the one I was wearing as well. So… fourteen?”

Yamapi blinks.

“And that girl bought two,” Tegoshi goes on. “Is there any way we could keep more bottles with us? It seems kind of pointless to say we can’t sell to them _right now_. Right?”

“Right,” Yamapi says slowly. “How about I go back to the office and fill my trunk, and you go see if those men will still be here in an hour when I get back?”

“Sure thing, Senpai!” Tegoshi replies happily. “I’ll definitely try to get some more sales too!”

Yamapi walks out to his car in a daze, but it’s nothing compared to a half-hour later when he has gotten six more text messages of what else to bring back because Tegoshi seems to be selling to the whole bar.

Tegoshi’s total sales for the evening are around forty, and Yamapi decides not to tell him that that’s more than Ryo’s total sales for an entire _month_.

+

“Faster, minions, we need to make twice as much to keep up with sales!”

“Shut it, Yoko,” Murakami says with a yawn, purposely taking his time filling the bottles.

Ryo rolls his eyes at them.

Meanwhile, Yasu tries to seal the caps faster and ends up spilling a few.

In the middle of the line, Uchi holds a bottle to his nose and makes a face. “This doesn’t smell like Mugendai. Did you maybe mix it with something else?”

Next to him, Ohkura glares over his safety goggles as he pops the collar of his labcoat. “Maybe your nose is too preoccupied with your _own_ fruity perfume.”

Subaru and Maruyama are snickering, doing something under the table that Ryo’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to know about.

When Yoko takes his foreman stance and leans purposefully against their station, a gust of pink air hits him right in the face. To his credit he doesn’t cough, just wipes his goggles so he can see and eyes the fragrance creators as he considers the scene.

“Not bad,” he concludes. “Let Uchi try it.”

The resident tester insists on spraying the bottle himself, closing his eyes as he inhales dramatically and ignores the other seven who point and laugh at him. “It smells like…”

“A rainy day,” Maruyama jumps in.

“But sad,” Uchi adds.

“It makes me think of Osaka,” Subaru says dreamily.

“Everything makes you think of Osaka,” Hina points out.

“We can call it Osaka Rainy Blues!” Yasu squeals happily.

Yoko rolls his eyes. “This is why we don’t get to name them.”

Ohkura snorts his agreement.

“Ryo-chan, what do you think?” Maruyama asks excitedly.

Ryo lifts his heavy head to find six pairs of eyes staring at him. “I don’t care,” he answers.

Yoko frowns and stands over him. “You don’t look like you slept at all.”

“Lost a bet,” Ryo mumbles as he squints to concentrate on what he’s doing. “Had to be a slave to the new kid.”

Subaru whistles while Yoko frowns. “That kid is the reason we have to haul ass. He made almost one hundred sales in one weekend.”

“How many sales do you make in a weekend, Ryo-chan?” Hina asks with a smirk.

Ryo only considers smashing a test tube in Hina’s face for a second. “I honestly wonder why they don’t fire me. My sales are low because I’m always _here_.”

“I’ll buy from you, Ryo-chan,” Uchi says supportively. “If we ever create a scent that doesn’t make me smell like a whore.”

Nobody decides to point out the irony of those words.

As Ryo starts to fall asleep again, Ohkura helpfully pokes him in the arm to keep him awake. “You know you can always stay at my place,” he whispers quietly. “You don’t have to overwork yourself like this solely for the ex-Ms. Nishikido.”

Ryo snorts. “She never even took my name – she’s still Sawajiri. And I can’t sell my house, I’ve tried.” He pauses, his brain hurting at the thought. “I could sell hers, but that would be going against the alimony agreement.” He sighs. “Being an adult sucks.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Ohkura tells him comfortingly. “If you change your mind, I have a spare bedroom.”

A bed sounds really nice right now. “Maybe she’ll move back into my house if I’m not there,” Ryo ponders. “I don’t want to impose on you, though-”

“Oh, shut up,” Ohkura says, purposely swaying into Ryo as they hunch over their lab. “Let’s make something explode and scare the shit out of Yoko.”

Ryo grins sleepily. “Okay.”

+

Maru eyes the pile of dishes in the sink. “I thought you said-”

“I’m going now, don’t wait up!” Jin offers a wink as he disappears out the door.

Sighing, Maru supposes that he should be happy the party isn’t _here_ for once as he resigns himself to another Friday night cleaning. Massu keeps telling him to just let it go and eventually Jin will do it himself, but Maru has tried that before and Jin will just go out and buy new dishes instead of washing the ones they already have. The refrigerator is constantly empty, but there are several sets of dishes overflowing the cabinets.

In return for his suffering, Maru utilizes Jin’s stereo system as he cleans. At least it makes him feel better as he attacks not only the dishes but the entire kitchen, finding things he didn’t want to know existed under the dishwasher and behind the washing machine. The janitor in him wants to live in a clean environment, no matter how often he has to pick up after his messy roommate.

Hours later he’s dancing with the vacuum cleaner, a bandana wrapped around his head to keep his hair out of his face when there’s a knock on the door. It has pretty loud to override the music, and Maru thinks that it serves Jin right to forget his keys and have to wait for Maru to hear him.

“I don’t know where your keys -” he starts, then sees someone who is definitely not Jin standing on the front step. “- are.”

“I do,” Maki replies, dangling them in his face as she sways. “Am I supposed to have a key to your door? All I found in your file was your address and phone number, but your phone kept going straight to voicemail.”

Maru thinks of his phone charging in his room, inwardly smacking himself for not keeping it on his person. Not like anyone other than Massu calls him anyway, and they already had plans for tomorrow so he didn’t expect a call tonight.

“I was in the neighborhood,” Maki adds quickly. “Not stalking or anything, I swear.”

Maru nods as he continues to gape at her. “I was… I mean, I’m cleaning.”

“I gathered,” Maki replies as she reaches out to flick the tail of Maru’s bandana. “Do you usually clean on Friday night?”

Another nod, then Jin’s CD raps something in English that Maru is pretty sure isn’t appropriate. It’s enough to make him cringe and hope that Maki doesn’t understand English.

Her amused expression tells him that she understands more than he does. “Your roommate’s music? Akanishi, right? Yamashita was talking about him a lot.”

Like a switch was flipped inside him, Maru gets over himself and faces the reality of the company president’s daughter on his doorstep so late at night, clearly drunk out of her mind. “What happened, Horikita-san?”

“Pfft,” Maki scoffed, the air blowing her bangs out of her face. “We’re not at work, Nakamaru-kun. Please call me Maki.”

“Maki-chan,” Maru enunciates, the syllables rolling off of his tongue rather nicely. “Then you call me Yuichi. Please come in and sit down.”

He guides her inside and lets her lean on him as she slips off her shoes, but the leaning only gets more dependent as they walk towards the couch. He rushes to get her some water, which she scrutinizes warily before taking a long sip. “Ah,” she says with a big smile. “I’m going to hurt tomorrow, aren’t I?”

Maru chuckles despite himself. “Don’t drink often?”

“He’s so _boring_ ,” Maki declares, and Maru grabs the glass just in time for Maki to gesture wildly with her arms. “I don’t even think I could have sex with him without falling asleep.”

Maru’s not quite sure what to say to that, but he sure is amused. “You went on a date with Yamashita?”

“What’s even better,” Maki goes on, pausing to laugh. “The entire time he looked like he was calculating how many sales he was losing by being out with me instead of working. I bet he went straight from the restaurant to the bars to make up for lost time.”

“He seems to be a very career-oriented man,” Maru comments, not wanting to betray Yamapi’s trust even if they weren’t really friends.

“If he was, he’d be trying harder to make me like him so he could be next in line for president,” Maki points out. “I kept asking questions because I promised Daddy I would give him a chance, and he kept answering very vaguely. I honestly think he has no other life than selling perfume.”

Maru doesn’t say anything, just nods sympathetically.

“I pity him,” Maki concludes. “But I can’t be with someone like that.” She turns towards Maru and regards him with squinted eyes. “I mean, you’re a _janitor_ and you have more personality than him. Even if you clean on Friday nights.”

He laughs with her, hearing the good-natured chide in her voice. “I’m actually doing distance-learning at Waseda. That’s why I need a roommate, even though I spend more time taking care of him than studying.”

She nods, staring at the entertainment center that’s still blaring something about lollipops. “Waseda, huh? What do you study there?”

“Human behavior and environment,” Maru rattles off the name of his department. “Not sure about my major yet, I just started this year.”

“Eh?” Maki says disbelievingly. “What are you going to do with that, save the world?”

He laughs again. “I think it will take more than little old me to save the world.”

“I don’t think so,” she contests. “Maybe you could start a trend. Lead a revolution. Then when your name is in the history books, I can tell my boring kids sprung from my boring husband that I once knew the great Nakamaru Yuichi, Environmental Renegade who single-handedly _saved the world_.”

Maru is laughing so hard that he’s almost crying, his heart so warm and big from the unexpected support that he doesn’t notice her hands on his face until her lips are pressed against his, her balance wavering but her kiss strong. He freezes long enough to have a quick internal battle, which his morals win and therefore have him gently pushing her away.

“Why?” she whines. “Why can’t I kiss who I want?”

He stares at her as her eyes slowly open, her tongue surreptitiously licking her lips while she gives Maru a helpless look. “Not like this,” he tells her. “You’re really drunk.”

“I am, aren’t I,” she replies, like she just realized it. “Well.” She takes a deep breath, then tries to get up only to flop right back down. “Once I remember how to walk, I’ll go home.”

“Stay here,” Maru says quickly, the words leaving his mouth before he can process them. “Akanishi shouldn’t be home tonight, he won’t bother you.”

“I don’t want to impose -” Maki starts, interrupting herself with a very big yawn.

“Come on,” Maru urges her, practically carrying her down the hall to his room. “You can help yourself to anything you need, including something to sleep in.”

She lifts her head to focus on his bed and turns back to him with a sultry look. “Is this your room? Are you going to sleep in here with me?”

“No,” Maru says firmly, his hands gripping her waist to keep her from coming closer. “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

Her pout makes him want to take it back, but then her arms are wrapped around his neck and his strength is faltering. “We might never have this chance again, Yuu-chan.” She stretches out the nickname with a grin. “At least kiss me, just once. Because he didn’t.”

Yamapi’s sanity is now a cause for concern in Maru’s head, but only until he finally gives in to her and leans in, brushing their lips together so lightly that it makes him shiver. She loses her balance and he tightens his hold on her, the kiss deepening as he inadvertently pulls her closer.

He tastes the liquor on her tongue and it seems to intoxicate him as well, particularly when Maki’s fingers slip under the bandana and thread through his damp hair. He feels her body pressed against his and wants to stay with her more than anything else, but his insecurity at this being just a drunken fling keeps nagging at him until finally he has to forcefully tear them apart, stumbling across the hallway like he’s the drunk one as he struggles to catch his breath.

“You’re too noble, you know that?” Maki asks in a way that implies she doesn’t really want an answer. “If you change your mind, I won’t regret it. Even in the morning.”

She leaves his door cracked as she finds some comfortable clothes to sleep in and starts to undress right in front of him. Maru immediately averts his eyes and heads for the couch, where he wills his body to calm down enough to sleep.

He’s still awake when Jin falls in the door, thankfully alone, and once again Maru drags him to the dog bed to make himself feel better. Pin and Mister seem to understand this switch and curl up together on Jin’s bed.

The sun is up when he finally falls asleep, which is about the same time Maki sneaks out.

+

“Wait, _what_?” Massu exclaims, actually abandoning his lunch in favor of gaping incredulously at his friend and coworker.

“I don’t believe it either,” Maru says sleepily, making a great effort to hold his head up. “It all seems like a dream.”

Massu blinks. “So let me get this straight. Maki-chan doesn’t like Yamashita and Yamashita doesn’t like Maki-chan, but Maki-chan likes _you_ and you like her?”

Slowly, Maru nods.

“I don’t see a problem here,” Massu concludes. “Her old man isn’t going to fire you – I doubt he’ll even make the connection that you work for him. So what’s stopping you two from being together?”

Maru opens his mouth a couple times, the right words not coming. “It’s just not that simple, Taka. She is -”

“Maybe it _is_ that simple,” Massu interrupts him, “and it’s you who is making it harder.”

“I don’t even know if she likes me when she’s sober,” Maru argues. “We’re from two different worlds -”

“That may be the case,” Massu cuts him off again, “but maybe she would rather live in our world than hers.”

Maru is thinking so seriously about those words that he doesn’t notice his phone vibrating on the table. Massu clears his throat to get Maru’s attention and nods to it, the other scrambling for the device which contains a mail that makes his eyebrows rise.

“What is it?” Massu asks, concerned. “Did Akanishi get in trouble again?”

_To: Yuichi  
From: Maki_

_Call me when you have time. I have news._

“News?” Maru repeats. “I wonder what it is…”

Massu watches the insecurities spin in Maru’s head and finally rolls his eyes. “Just call her, I won’t mind at all.”

“Really?” Maru says, almost dropping his phone from excitement. “I don’t want to be rude.”

“If you don’t call her, I’ll do it for you,” Massu tells him, and Maru knows he’s serious.

But before he can dial the number, he has an incoming call from Akanishi. “Oh no, what now,” he mumbles as he answers.

“Hey, so, um,” Jin begins slowly. “Are you busy? Because, like, I need to talk to you about something.”

Inwardly Maru counts to ten. “I’ll be home soon,” he says reluctantly. “Just let me finish eating.”

Massu is frowning as Maru hangs up the phone. “I’m going with you.”

“Why?” Maru asks through his mouthful.

“Because someone has to stand up for you,” Massu says firmly.

Maru’s too tired to argue and therefore it’s both he and Massu who nearly trip over the boxes that clutter the main room of Maru and Jin’s apartment. “What’s going on?” he asks nervously.

Jin looks up from a box, a guilty expression on his face. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“I don’t understand,” Maru says. “Did we have a fight?”

“No, nothing like that.” Jin shakes his head and gives this embarrassed laugh. “I just don’t know how to say this to you.”

“You want to leave?” Maru asks hopefully.

Jin gulps. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Maru agrees. “Do you need help packing?”

Jin tilts his head and regards Maru with confusion. “Don’t you want to know why?”

“Not my business,” Maru says with a shrug. “Just pay through the end of the month, okay?”

“Okay.” Jin’s face lights up as he looks grateful for the first time since they’ve lived together. “I don’t have to pay where I’m going, so I can still give you money until you find another roommate.”

Maru pauses in shock. “That would be nice.”

“And unnecessary,” Massu speaks up. “I’ll move in.”

Both Jin and Maru switch their attentions to Massu. “Really?” they say in unison, both sounding relieved.

“If that’s okay,” Massu says gently to Maru. “I mean, I’ve never lived by myself before, but I can learn?”

“Be careful,” Jin says with a smirk. “If you come home drunk, he’ll make you sleep in the dog bed.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Maru feigns bewilderment. “Maybe you actually think that’s your bed.”

Jin looks like he’s about to respond when a deep voice sounds from the back room. “Jesus, Jin, how do you accumulate so much shit?”

The red tint that takes over Jin’s face clues Maru into exactly _why_ he’s leaving as Yamapi strolls out with an armful of boxes. It’s the first time that Maru’s seen him in something other than a suit, arm muscles bulging in the tank top.

“Oh hello, Nakamaru-kun,” Yamapi says politely. “Did Jin tell you he’s moving in with me?”

A grin spreads across Maru’s face at the actual emotion in Yamapi’s eyes. He’s excited, hopeful, _alive_. Maru doesn’t think he wants to know the specifics here, but if Jin can invoke these kinds of feelings in Yamapi, he’s even happier with this arrangement.

“Yeah,” he answers. “It’s fine.”

Yamapi puts the boxes down on top of some others and pokes Jin in the arm. “See, I told you he wouldn’t be mad.”

All Jin does is give Maru a helpless look, which Maru hears loud and clear as he mumbles about things to do and steers Massu out the door, giving Jin his privacy for the last time.

Massu seems to be oblivious to them as he stands in the stairwell and sighs nervously. “It’s okay that I said that, right?” he asks quickly. “I mean, I should have probably talked to you about it first, but-”

“It’s perfect,” Maru interrupts _him_ this time, smiling even more as Massu’s face takes a similar expression. “And I’d never make you sleep in the dog bed.”

“I’d never have sex in your bed,” Massu replies.

“That reminds me,” Maru says, making a face. “We should probably bleach his room after he leaves.”

“I’m free tomorrow,” Massu tells him. “I’ll get Kusano to swipe some of the good stuff from work.” He claps Maru on the shoulder. “For now, you should call Maki-chan!”

Maru pulls out his phone and looks fondly at her number. “I have a feeling I already know what she’s going to say.”

+

“Aha!” Maru shouts in triumph, examining – at a distance – the handkerchief he’d fished out of the toilet and seeing a pair of initials. “I’ve finally found the culprit!”

Massu races to the stall, leaning over Maru as they both make out the letters SK. “Kato-kun?” he says in disbelief.

“There isn’t anyone else who has those initials, is there?” Maru asks.

They both think very seriously about this for several minutes.

“I suppose we could ask him,” Massu finally suggests.

Kato’s in the ‘think tank’ with Koyama, bouncing a small ball back and forth as they dream up names for BNF’s latest line.

“What does ‘mola’ mean, anyway?” Kato asks cynically.

“Who knows?” replies Koyama. “But it sounds sexy.”

“Excuse me,” Nakamaru says loudly, holding up the wet handkerchief that he’d manage to hook onto a paper clip. “Does this belong to you?”

“ _There_ it is!” Kato exclaims. “I haven’t seen it since I gave it to Nishikido the other day. Where did you find it?”

“In the toilet,” Maru answers, and Kato immediately makes a face.

“You gave your handkerchief to Nishikido-kun?” Massu asks with raised eyebrows.

Kato pretends to be interested in his paperwork. “Don’t judge me, Janitor. I wasn’t the one crying in the bathroom.”

Maru pointedly holds out the paper clip until Kato reluctantly takes it from him. “Thanks for the information.”

They find Ryo sleeping in the cafeteria while most of the company eats, and Maru doesn’t have the heart to taunt him publicly. He kneels down next to the table under the pretense of sweeping under it, then hisses, “If you stop putting things into the toilet, I’ll never tell anyone that you were crying.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nose,” Ryo grumbles.

Maru pats his shoulder and stands up, whistling even when Yamapi’s fruit cocktail hits him in the back of the head.

“It’s good to know that dating the president’s daughter doesn’t get you any special treatment,” an amused voice says from the sidelines.

“No favoritism here,” Maru replies, taking a towel to the back of his neck as he approaches his girlfriend. “I’m almost done.”

“Take your time,” Maki tells him as she leans against a pillar. “I did a bunch of work for Meisa this morning so I won’t feel guilty about taking a long lunch.”

Maru smiles gratefully as he cleans up the fruit mess and joins Massu in wiping the unused tables. When he passes by the sales guys again, Yamapi grabs his sleeve and Maru almost falls over from the surprise.

“Hey, Nakamaru-kun,” Yamapi says pleasantly. “How are things with your new roommate?”

“Great,” Maru replies without hesitation, glancing fondly over at Massu. “We’ve been friends for awhile, so we get along really well.”

“That’s good, I’m glad,” Yamapi replies with an earnest smile. “It seems better this way, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah it does,” Maru agrees. “How is Jin?”

“He’s great,” Yamapi says, then bites his lip as he lowers his voice. “He’s a lot happier, even if my sales went down.”

“They did?” Maru asks, concerned. “Oh no, what happened?”

Yamapi clears his throat. “I just sell the product now.”

It takes Maru a second to catch on, then he makes a noise of understanding. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Yamapi kicks under the table, earning the finger from Ryo. “And as today is Ryo-chan’s last day in sales, that leaves young Tegoshi to pick up our slack.”

“I don’t think he’ll have any problem with that,” Ryo says without opening his eyes. “That kid could sell oceanfront property in Arizona.”

“There will probably be an opening,” Yamapi says pointedly to Maru. “I could put in a good word.”

“With all due respect,” Maru answers. “No fucking way.”

Yamapi laughs as he returns to his lunch. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? We’re all employees here.”

“Okay,” Maru says as he finally relaxes around them.

When Maru and Massu finish cleaning, Maru heads off with Maki while Massu takes the hardworking advertising team lunch.

Nothing gets stuck in the toilet again, although Kato’s hair turns an interesting shade of yellow and green for reasons that nobody will fess up to.


End file.
